On HRT plus new strategies
So, even though I was on HRT, I was living with hot flashes that flared up unpredictably and were increased by my embarrassment. I hated being suddenly hot and hated being out of control and hated that my situation was obvious to others. I hated that I was distracted and red faced and sweating while engaging with my Pilates clients or work colleagues. Looking back, it’s such a huge thing and affected me in many ways. I began to wear lighter layered clothes so I could reduce my temperature fast, I also discovered I could ping the neckline of my tops to release a puff of cool air up to my face on demand. Sometimes I would have to leave the room and go wash my hands and face in cool water to find a bit of relief. I can still remember the sensation of cool water running over my wrists and hands, a discovery I made about self-care and how small measures can count.
A word about Pilates
I found Pilates allowed me to exercise without getting too overheated, too often. I think a lasting side effect of perimenopause has been never wanting to feel hot again because of the hot flashes. Feeling hot is feeling out of control and self-conscious. So, for years I have found enjoying the heat of summer a challenge and avoided raising my heart rate too high, too often, for too long.
To improve my bone density and control my weight gain I added more exercise. Longer Pilates workouts of about 90 minutes 2 times a week. The longer time meant I could build strength and endurance without stress. I did daily stretches, and short workouts on my non-Pilates class days. Plus, I managed 2 x 40-minute swims a week. Walking about 8k per day and cycling locally up to 10k. Swimming and cycling and walking outside did not bring on hot flashes that bothered me. I think because of the cool breeze when cycling and the cool water when swimming.
Wine to sweat ratio
My menopause proved to be a strong and inventive enemy. I have struggled for years now with the gross unfairness that my night sweats and my hot flashes are increased by drinking.
Most of the time I just drank anyway. I figured it was worth the exchange rate. 1 glass of wine equals very little change to the usual 3- or 4-night sweats, 2 glasses equals one bonus and extra intense, night sweat, 3 glasses of wine a deep sleep broken by huge anxiety and a night sweat at 2am and 4am. But the wine to sweat and anxiety ratio is not guaranteed and can change at any moment. What fun.
Help me make it through the night
10 years or so I’ve been having night sweats and over time I’ve mostly pushed the wine out and a good night’s sleep is more achievable, not guaranteed, but it does happen. And now in breaking news, I’m on the right dose of HRT, I only drink on very rare occasions and deep sleep happens every night.
More about night sweats and what helped me make it through the night.
I picked up some simple hacks for breaking the night sweats.
Like a fur seal
An ice pack under the pillow. When you wake you can turn the pillow and lay your cheek on a cool surface, bliss. Also, good to put a hand under the pillow near the ice pack and cool off that way.
Get up, have a cool shower, and go back to bed damp.
Stick a leg out of the covers the way a fur seal sticks a flipper out of the water for thermal regulation.
Have a damp flannel handy to cool your face and hands and chest
Throw the covers off and lie there damp and hot until you get cool and damp and clamy.
Sailing, not sailing
Honestly, I found this phase harder than having a young child to nurse at night. I resented the relentless broken sleep that left me exhausted. I had never imagined this phase of life being hard. I thought I would sail through it. It was early anyway, a good 5 years early.
Did I say that before?
I had early onset perimenopause, caused by stress. I never knew that was a thing, a possible thing. My mother was dying, diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a month or two before my symptoms began. I was surprised to find myself facing major life and death events. I had not planned or prepared for this whatsoever. Writing now, years later I’m reflecting on how mentally unprepared I was. Researching and rehearsing big life stuff in our imagination helps us. I mean playing out the scenes that might happen and gathering intelligence to help our choices when they happen, helps us feel calmer and less dumstruck. I knew I would reach menopause sometime in the future, but to be honest I was more concerned in that moment with the possibility of pregnancy. In my new relationship, another child seemed a very real possibility. And as for my Mum dying, a heavy blow I hadn’t seen coming, a case of unkind, early doors slamming in my face.
Challenges to face
My Mum was dying, and my fertility was fading. The harsh challenges of the next year or two lay ahead. R and I were not going to have another child, we were going to focus on our existing children and I would spend time with my Mum.
